| Jokes and funnies |
| Little Johnney walked in on his mom in the shower one day, and looking at the hair on her crotch, he asked Mom whats that? She said it's my sponge. The next day little Johnney happened to walk in on his mom in the shower again, but this time she was bald because her and Johnneys dad had gotten a little Kinky the night before and shaved it all off. So Johnney asks Mom what happened to your sponge? She said welll, I lost ti. A few days later little Johnney came running in the house screaming Moma Moma I found your sponge, The next door neighbor lady is washing daddy's face with it! |
 |
 |
 |
| to more jokes |
| A man and a woman decided they needed a code word for sex, so that they could let each other know when they wanted to do it when they were in front of the childred. So they came up with "typewriter". One day the couples little girl came into the room that her mother was in and said. " Mom, Dad wants you to help him type a letter." The mother replied, " Tell your father I can't help him type a letter right now because there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." A few days latter the little girl came into the room where her father was and said, "Dad, Mom says she can help you type that letter now." The father then replied, " Tell her not to worry about it, I've already hand written the letter." |
| A little boy was sitting on a corner one day with a bottle of liquid in his hand. He'd shake it and look at it, and shake it and look at it. A preacher walked by and said "What ya got there?" The boy replied " preacher, this here's the most powerful liquid in the world". The preacher said "no sir, holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world, if you rub a little holy water on a womans belly , she'll pass a baby." The little boy said "Preacher this here's turpentine, if you rub a little turpentine on a cat's ass he'll pass a Harley." |
| A little boy was walking down the road one day with some tape. An old man sitting on his porch said "What ya got there boy?" The boy said " Duck tape" The old man said " What you gonna do with duck tape?" The boy said" I'm gonna catch me some ducks" The man said "Boy , you can't catch ducks with duck tape." About two hours later the little boy comes by with a whole mess of ducks on the tape. "Well I'll be" replied the old man. The next day the little boy comes walking by and this time he has some kind of wire. "What ya got there?" asked the old man. " This is chicken wire and I'm gonna catch me some chickens with it." said the little boy. The old man said "Boy , you can't catch chickens with chicken wire." About two hours later the little boy comes walking up the road with a whole mess of chickens on the wire. "Well I'll be damned" replied the old man to himself. The next day the little boy comes walking up the road with a whole bunch of weeds. "What ya got there?" asked the old man, The little boy said "This here's pussy willows" the old man said "Let me get my jacket I'm coming with you." |
| A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were at work one day when their female boss announced that she was taking the rest of the afternoon off. After she left the brunette proposed "Let's leave too, she'll never know." So, they all left work to do various things. The redhead went home to do some much need gardening, the brunette decides to treat herself to a shopping spree, and the blonde headed home to relax. But when she get there she walks in on her husband and her boss having sex. They don't notice that she's home so she sneaks back out. The next day at work the three women were talking about their 'day off'. The brunette said "That was great! We'll have to do it again." The blonde said "Uh -uh I almost got caught!' |
| One day a little girl was bugging her mom , so the mom said "Why dont't you go accross the street and watch the construction workers ,work.?" So the little girl starts going over there every day to watch them. and they start to find little things for her to do to help them out.At the end of the week the guys put a dollar in an envelope and present it to the little girl as her first 'paycheck'. She runs home and tells her mother and her mother suggusts they go and open a savings account at the bank' So on monday morning they go to the bank to open an account.The ladies at the bank say to the girl. "Oh you'r first paycheck, you must be so exicted, are you going back to work on Monday morning?' The littl girl replied "If the son of a bitches at the lumber yard can get some plywood that's worth a shit , I am." ' |
| A little girl was at the barber shop with her father. She was staning next to the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.The barber said " sweetheart you're gonna get hair on your twinkie" She said "I know , I'm gonna get boobies too". |
| One day a1st grade teacher was reading the story of chiken little to her class. She came to the part where chicken little warns the farmer. She read... "And chicken little went to the farmer and sai' the sky is falling! " the teacher then asked the class, " and whatdo you think the farmer said?" "One little girl raised her hadn and said"I think he said"Holy shit,! a talking chcken!" |